


Hate That I Love You (Remastered)

by arnon_bleyheart



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Pianist!Tony, Protective Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22110967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arnon_bleyheart/pseuds/arnon_bleyheart
Summary: He leaned back on the walls and met the press of cold metal on his back. He closed his eyes, and was immediately attacked with the memory of Steve kissing Sharon. He chuckled bitterly.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 67





	Hate That I Love You (Remastered)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hate That I Love You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6963175) by [arnon_bleyheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arnon_bleyheart/pseuds/arnon_bleyheart). 



> So I am doing this thing where I'm reworking every fic I wrote before recently. This was set after Peggy's death. I hope you enjoy!

The lounge was unusually empty when Tony emerged from his workshop. He blinked, confused at the silence.

“Jarv?”

“How may I help, Sir?” Tony moved to the kitchen and poured a cup of steaming coffee.

“Where is everyone?”

“Captain Rogers and Miss Romanova left two hours ago for a meeting with director Fury, while Mr Barton is still in Moscow for an 0-8-4 mission in Hunan, scheduled to return on the 21 st . Mr Banner is currently in containment mode, and Thor has not returned from Asgard.”

Tony took a sip of coffee and sighed. His mind supplied flickers of a one-sided conversation with Steve in his workshop earlier.

_ “We can handle the meeting with Fury, but you need sleep,Tony.” Tony hummed, not emerging from below his workstation. Steve sighed loudly. _

_“Sleep, shellhead. You haven’t been sleeping properly lately.”_ _The Captain huffed in exasperation._

__

_“Just, promise me you’ll take some rest, Tony. You look worn down.”_ _Tony mumbled an affirmative, and Steve seemed to think it was good enough since he tapped Tony’s knees twice then left._

He poured another cup of coffee, and slugged back inside the elevator.

“My floor, please.”

JARVIS didn’t reply, but Tony felt a little pull as the elevator moved up. He leaned back on the walls and met the press of cold metal on his back. He closed his eyes, and was immediately attacked with the memory of Steve kissing Sharon. He chuckled bitterly.

_ Aunt Peggy wasn’t even cold on the ground. _

__

His hand found his arc reactor, feeling the soft hum of the machine, hoping it would ease the tightness squeezing his heart.

Tony opened his eyes when he heard the soft  _ whoosh  _ of the elevator door sliding open. He trudged out, dragging himself to bed. He drained his coffee, placed the mug on his bedside table, then climbed up to bed.

He laid there for some time, repositioning himself from time to time to get his body to fall asleep. But every time he closed his eyes, his traitorous mind tortured him with Steve’s voice calling him  _ “Shellhead” _ followed by the image of Steve kissing Sharon. Tony groaned, and kicked his blanket off.

He trudged to his piano on the edge of the room, depositing himself on the bench. His fingers slid carefully at the top of the porcelain lid. His fingers were trembling as he lifted the lid and touched the paper-white tiles. He inhaled sharply, and started singing, fingers dancing on the tiles.

_ Feeling used but I'm _

_ Still missing you _

_ And I can't _

_ See the end of this _

_ Just wanna feel your kiss _

_ Against my lips _

__

He reminisced about the time when Steve started visiting the workshop more. Sometimes just routine maintenance for his gears, but some other times he just sat on a bench and watched Tony while he worked. He drew sometimes, sketches of anything he saw in the workshop. When he showed Tony the sketches, some of them, his heart felt light.

_ And now all this time _

_ Is passing by _

_ But I still can't seem to tell you why _

_ It hurts me every time I see you _

_ Realize how much I need you _

__

He can’t remember when he started giving more attention to the captain. His visits to the workshop became something that Tony looked forward to. His hands touch Tony on his shoulder, back, arms, trying to get Tony to take a break left imprints on his skin, burning him from the inside. An image of him touching Steve’s shoulder when Aunt Peggy passed, Steve shrugging him off and storming out appeared. Tony pushed it back.

_ I hate you I love you _

_ I hate that I want you _

_ You want her, you need her _

_ And I'll never be her _

__

The image of Steve and Sharon kissing pushed through his mind again. This time he didn’t push it away. His fingers faltered a bit and his voice wavered. Steve looked so happy and content with Sharon. Steve smiled so cheerfully with Sharon, and he felt anger rose through his throat. How could they smile, when Tony can’t even breathe properly with the sense of loss choking him.

_ All alone I watch you watch her _

_ Like she's the only girl you've ever seen _

_ You don't care you never did _

_ You don't give a damn about me _

__

Steve stopped visiting him as much since he yelled at him after the funeral. The hurt in his eyes felt like a punch in the gut, but Tony tells himself that Aunt Peggy must have felt worse. The captain also went out more. Tony refused to think about where he went.

_ I hate you I love you _

_ I hate that I want you _

_ You want her, you need her _

_ And I'll never be her _

__

His vision was blurry with tears by the time he hit the last note. He closed the lid softly, before laying down on top of the cool exterior. A hand ran through his hair, and he flinched. His head shot up to see Natasha staring at him with something akin to anguish in her eyes.It might be pity. Tony tried not to think much of it. Natasha sat next to him and hugged him. He fell forward, fully resting his body weight to hers and letting his tears drop on her black turtleneck. Natasha kept running her hand through his hair while positioning him in her lap. They stayed like that for a long time, content in the silence that enveloped them. Tony felt sleep blissfully pulling him in, when he heard Natasha’s voice from above him.

“Let’s go sleep, идиот.”

She helped Tony stand and brought him to his bed. She tucked him in, and Tony refused to let embarrassment color the comfortable companionship. He felt a kiss on his forehead and a murmured “Goodnight.”

He vaguely heard the flick of lights turning off and the elevator door closing before he was pulled into a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> The song i used here is I Hate You, I Love You by Gnash ft, Olivia O'Brien  
> I found a really amazing cover on The Voice Germany that you can find at this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XprtvJzNCY


End file.
